Friday was my brother’s birthday. All day long I felt a little bit down. I love my brother so much. He has a wonderful heart, is a good person, and always tries his best to be there for you. Knowing all of this, and the relationship I have had with him my whole life, I just couldn’t shake the sadness. My sweet daughters will never get to know a brother’s love. They will never be picked on, protected, play with toys intended for little boys, or dress a brother up like a girl.
My heart aches for these girls…my heart breaks for them. I wish I could have a son who lives, but that just isn’t in the cards for us. I wish they knew the love of a brother the way I get to. 😦
I miss my son so, so, much. I try not to stop and scream out “why? Why me? Why us? Why Leo?” In a way, it feels like I’ve let my daughters down, but I know better than that. I just have to press on and enjoy the gifts that I have right now.
Love you, Leo. Happy birthday Augie.