Leo, I’m so tired and I know I need to sleep but I can’t. I keep thinking about the moment I realized that something was wrong- the moment I told your dad to call 9-1-1 – the look on his face when I told him you weren’t breathing – the horror that I couldn’t yet […]
Leo, I celebrated our birthday this year. It was really special and I actually felt happy. I got the sign you sent me when we went to visit you at the cemetery. I live for moments of confirmation like that one. I know you’re still with me. I feel you. I miss you and I […]
Hey Leo, My letters have become fewer and far less often than when you first left me, but your absence continues to grow in my heart. I know I’ve got some serious walls up. I don’t know how I’d be able to go on without them. When I think about you for too long, I […]
Leo, I haven’t written to you in so long. I tried to make myself feel guilty for it, but I just don’t have the strength. I am tired of feeling pain, sick of feeling sad, and angry with my fragile heart. I just want the one thing that I know I do not get to […]
We took our kids on a hike today. One of my goals this year was to take more time to be with my family in nature. I want to teach my kids to be quiet and reflective, to soak in their surroundings, to feel free and unrestrained from the structure of society. Heck, I […]
Today I saw an image that’s said “No matter how much you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see.” At first, that comment stung a little bit because all I have left of the time that my son lived is the past. But in the same moment, I felt like God turned my head […]
I got to watch my husband turn a creative passion into something he can share with the world. Not just something others can see but something they can participate in, something they can explore, something that can help them uncover a talent they didn’t know they had. God doesn’t just love us, He doesn’t […]
Today I experienced God in a really quiet way. I was so busy and God didn’t try to compete with that or try to shout over it, He simply found me when he knew I would be focused inward. On my car ride home I was listening to music and I kept hearing the […]
Well, today started off crappy. I was exhausted from Leo’s anniversary (it’s an emotionally draining day), and I had a huge half-day meeting pop up that I needed to facilitate…first thing in the morning. Traffic was horrendous and Lily threw an amazing fit. I couldn’t find my car keys (I just found them about 1 […]
Zach and I were supposed to go to Disneyland this morning. We had gone to Disneyland the night before and were debating whether we should go again or just start heading home. As we approached the Mickey and Friends parking structure, we started to realize just how crowded Disneyland really was. I suggested we […]
Surviving SIDS 