Preparing for my Rainbow

Leo, Yesterday I was feeling a lot of anxiety. I hadn’t packed my bag for the hospital, I still needed to buy some odds and ends to prepare for Zoe’s first weeks, and all of this just added up to me missing you and resenting that 26 days after Zoe is born, she will be […]

Searching for Peace

Leo, Late at night I wake up and just lay in bed thinking about you. I can hear your sisters softly snoring (and your dad loudly snoring) and it breaks my heart because I don’t hear or see you. People say that you’re always near me and I want to believe that, but I don’t […]


Leo, Today I drove your dad to work. Because of his surgery, he isn’t allowed to drive himself anywhere for the week. On my way home, I thought about visiting you at the cemetery but decided against it. I instantly felt guilty so I took the rest of the drive home thinking about why I […]