Hi Leo, I can’t even remember the last time I wrote you. It’s not because I don’t love you or don’t miss you, but because I can feel you nearby. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you’re living life right alongside us. Nobody in the world could convince me otherwise. I had […]
When Leo died, Zach and I had no choice but to put all of our faith and trust in God. We knew that trusting God’s plan would be the only way that we could survive (or try to survive) losing our son. From April 11 to April 19 we had no real idea of where […]
Hi Leo, Today is your three year angelversary and I miss you just as much today as I did three years ago. I have learned to recognize the signs and symbols you show me to remind me that you’re still around, but I still miss your physical presence and being able to be with you […]
Hey buddy, Today is our birthday! It is a day of celebration muddled with sadness and regret. It’s too painful for me to think of all the things we would have done if you were still alive…but it’s equally painful to ignore those thoughts. There is a space in my brain where you still exist, […]
Leo, I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you back. I feel so alone sometimes. My brain echoes with the horror of finding you lifeless in our bed. That moment haunts my every thought. When do I get to see you again? Why can’t I fill my head with memories […]
Leo, I could sit here all day long and tell you of my regrets and the things that trigger my grief; I could probably come up with a few hundred more in that time, but I don’t think that going through my list of painful memories will move anything positive in me. The smallest things […]
Leo, Sometimes Your older sisters will hold a funeral for their favorite baby doll. They will find shoe box, pick all the flowers in the yard, hold a service, tell a prayer, and lay their sweet baby to rest. Sometimes they’ll sing a song or tell a story about their baby’s life and how they […]
Leo, Today’s subject is focused on groups or resources that helped us out, early in our loss. Your dad and I actually had a tough time connecting with others in San Diego who suffered a SIDS loss. We went to some local support groups, a therapist, and church, looking for someone, anyone, who could tell […]
Day 8 -wish listThis is so personal, so I’m keeping my wish list to myself and am taking this opportunity to thank you for following this project and supporting Zach and me. Each of you picks up a piece of our broken hearts, making this journey a little less to bear and a lot less […]
Leo, Almost as soon as you passed away, books started to fill my nightstand and iPad. Friends, family, strangers, even some authors, gifted us their books about loss, grief, and especially Heaven. I became fascinated and so thirsty for knowledge of where you were. I have never been to heaven, you see, so I needed […]
Surviving SIDS 