Leo,

Almost as soon as you passed away, books started to fill my nightstand and iPad. Friends, family, strangers, even some authors, gifted us their books about loss, grief, and especially Heaven. I became fascinated and so thirsty for knowledge of where you were.  I have never been to heaven, you see, so I needed to know exactly where you went. 

I never did find what my heart cried out for in those books and after a while, they became an unhealthy obsession.  It’s just that, I never let you out of my sight, and there we were, without you safe at home, trying to make some sense of the disaster we were sitting in. 

It makes me sad to remember all of these books because I’m reminded that I still have no idea where you are and what you’re doing. I just miss you…more than ever. 

Love you,

Mom

#captureyourgrief

#whathealsyou

#books

#survivingSIDS