Missing you


Tonight I found myself sobbing again. That’s three times this week that I found myself absolutely inconsolable. I love you so much. You were supposed to be here with me. I’m supposed to watch you grow old. I’m so glad that you’re in heaven and aren’t in any pain, but that doesn’t take my pain away. My heart will forever ache for you.

I know one day your dad and I will have another baby and that is going to be so hard. I want you. I miss you. I love you. I think it will be hard to love another baby.

I know I don’t need to worry about any of that, but I do sometimes. I just really miss you. I miss changing your diaper, giving you a bath, dressing you, kissing you, cuddling you, nursing you, letting your sisters play with you…everything. I miss it all. I would trade anything for another day with you.

I love you my son. Rest in peace until I get to heaven to be with you.


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