I started a new job this week. If you had asked me a month ago if I would leave UCSD, I would have said “No”. I was perfectly comfortable there and it was really the only thing left in my life that hadn’t changed.
Since we sold our home, we have been looking to physically center our lives around family and the things that are important to us and we decided that La Mesa would be our next home. As we were house hunting (we are still looking, by the way) I thought, “What if I worked closer to La Mesa?”. So I jumped online and checked SDSU’s website; a natural transition from UCSD, and I saw a job posting that was very similar to what I was already doing. I brushed it off, but as the weekend came and went, I was still thinking about changing jobs. So I leaned into my trust in God and I applied. I thought, if I was meant to change then it will happen. I took things one small step at a time and each step led me right out of UCSD’s doors. I was shocked, but it felt like the right move.
After I gave my notice, I began to realize just how unhappy I was at work. I was asked to put on a smile after you and my dad passed away because my coworkers needed me to be 100%, even if I wasn’t feeling it. So I took it as a request to act like a robot. Come in, smile, sympathize with people whose lives are miserable because their workload, and pretend like everything was okay with me…when clearly, it was not. And I was okay with that. I thought it would help me somehow, even if I didn’t understand why I was told to act this way. But God showed me a more honest path and I followed it.
I didn’t know how badly I was in need of a new beginning until one was handed to me. I’m thankful to have a God that knows what’s best for me even when I don’t.
So far, my new job has been great. People here have been genuine and seem happy. Of course, nobody really wants to be at work, so i’m sure we’ll have our grumpy days, but it’s been a great first few days. I’m filled with hope, happiness, joy, and relieved from stress, paranoia, and misery. If you ask me, it sounds like God had something to do with this.
I wish you were still here with me so I could share these small joys with you. I miss you every day and I think of you at all times.
I love you.