Turning point

I still have trouble accepting what happened to you…to us. It breaks my heart so painfully to think that you would, could, should be here with me…with us. I miss kissing your sweet baby cheeks. And every time I remember my last moments with you, and your two last sweet little sounds, the remains of my broken heart are crushed into a million pieces. I am just so sad that you’re gone.

The pain of losing you has changed. Sometimes I wonder if I should still be laying in bed crying, but then something reminds me that you wouldn’t want that. You want me to take good care of your dad and big sisters. You want me to be happy and to let my spirit complete its earthly mission.

I promise you, my sweet son, my guardian angel, that I will allow God to do his work through me.

Yesterday I received my necklace from the funeral home. It’s so beautiful! It has an imprint of your hand and in the back it says “our guardian angel”. I truly believe you’re with me always and this necklace is a visual reminder that your hand is on my heart. My therapist looked at it today and let it dangle from her fingers. The necklace started moving in circles and she told me that it had energy and a strong presence. I was so happy to know that you were there with me.

I love you Leo. And I wish you were still here with me.


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