Too painful

Leo,
It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I hope you know that I haven’t forgotten about you…the reason I haven’t written is actually quite the opposite. On 6/20/13, your Papa Augie, my dad, passed away. You already know this, I’m sure. I am feeling numb right now. First my son, then my dad. I don’t know how I’m supposed survive all of this. I’m really struggling through each day right now.

You are the purest and most precious focal point in my life. The beauty that your death revealed to me was incredible. But by the same token, the ugliness and selfishness, and pride that I saw when my dad died was appalling. I need to re center my life on the positive side of things.

It’s just been so painful and so conflicting. I’m sad that my dad is gone, but I’m really comforted knowing that he is with you now and not in pain. It’s confusing.

Anyway, we had a big day today. We got some friends together to our together to honor your memory. We lined 17 caskets for the Garden of Innocence. It was an incredible experience.

I love you son. I know papa Augie is taking really good care of you.

Forever yours,
Mom

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