Zach and I were supposed to go to Disneyland this morning. We had gone to Disneyland the night before and were debating whether we should go again or just start heading home. As we approached the Mickey and Friends parking structure, we started to realize just how crowded Disneyland really was. I suggested we […]
When Leo died, Zach and I had no choice but to put all of our faith and trust in God. We knew that trusting God’s plan would be the only way that we could survive (or try to survive) losing our son. From April 11 to April 19 we had no real idea of where […]
Hi Leo, Today is your three year angelversary and I miss you just as much today as I did three years ago. I have learned to recognize the signs and symbols you show me to remind me that you’re still around, but I still miss your physical presence and being able to be with you […]
Hey buddy, Today is our birthday! It is a day of celebration muddled with sadness and regret. It’s too painful for me to think of all the things we would have done if you were still alive…but it’s equally painful to ignore those thoughts. There is a space in my brain where you still exist, […]
Leo, I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you back. I feel so alone sometimes. My brain echoes with the horror of finding you lifeless in our bed. That moment haunts my every thought. When do I get to see you again? Why can’t I fill my head with memories […]
Leo, Have you ever sat by the water’s edge and watched the ducks swim around? I know you and I didn’t get to do that together, but maybe there’s a pond in Heaven that’s filled with ducks near the playground where you run around with your friends. They seem to just glide across the water, […]
I’m broken, but not beyond repair. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyou #self portrait
Leo, I could sit here all day long and tell you of my regrets and the things that trigger my grief; I could probably come up with a few hundred more in that time, but I don’t think that going through my list of painful memories will move anything positive in me. The smallest things […]
Leo, Sometimes Your older sisters will hold a funeral for their favorite baby doll. They will find shoe box, pick all the flowers in the yard, hold a service, tell a prayer, and lay their sweet baby to rest. Sometimes they’ll sing a song or tell a story about their baby’s life and how they […]
Leo, Today’s subject is focused on groups or resources that helped us out, early in our loss. Your dad and I actually had a tough time connecting with others in San Diego who suffered a SIDS loss. We went to some local support groups, a therapist, and church, looking for someone, anyone, who could tell […]
Surviving SIDS 