Leo, Late at night I wake up and just lay in bed thinking about you. I can hear your sisters softly snoring (and your dad loudly snoring) and it breaks my heart because I don’t hear or see you. People say that you’re always near me and I want to believe that, but I don’t […]
Leo, Today I drove your dad to work. Because of his surgery, he isn’t allowed to drive himself anywhere for the week. On my way home, I thought about visiting you at the cemetery but decided against it. I instantly felt guilty so I took the rest of the drive home thinking about why I […]
Leo, Well, much to my chagrin, the anxiety is creeping back in. I find myself awake at night wondering how I’m going to tell your dad that the girls have stopped breathing. At the same time, I somehow both hesitate and rush to check for the tell-tale rise and fall of your sister’s backs and […]
Leo, Good morning son. You probably knew this before I did, but your Grandma Lee has gone on to join you in heaven. I hope you guys are all together and are rejoicing in another one of Gods promises fulfilled. I’ll be honest when I say that I’m always a bit envious when someone dies […]
Dad, I had a dream about you last night. I woke up this morning with wet tears in my eyes, I know I was crying in my sleep, I remember hugging you and crying in my dream. I woke up and thought, that’s so you! In my dream, you were being a troublemaker (as usual). […]
Leo, Yesterday your Dad and I went to an event at church called “Night of Music”. I wasn’t overly excited about going, but we were here, your dad wanted to go, so I said, “what the heck”, and went. As we were listening to these musicians and watching some of them dance, move with the […]
Leo, I’m coming to notice that birthdays are really hard for me. Today is your big sister Lily’s birthday. She had such a wonderful day. But each time I feel grateful that she is still here with us, I am reminded that you’re not. I remember watching and hearing you exhale your last breath. The […]
Good morning Leo, Today I’m missing you so very much. I miss you every day, but today is one of those days that you’re first in my thoughts. Everything I see seems to remind me of you, and every time your baby sister kicks inside my growing belly, I’m reminded that time moves me forward. […]
Leo, Today is my second Mother’s Day without you. If I sit down and think about what I’m missing out on with you, I wouldn’t be a very functional or reasonable person. Losing you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Accepting that you’re gone is the second hardest. As I navigate my […]
Leo, It’s been a little bit since I’ve written to you. I think and talk about you constantly. I’ve actually been wondering about something lately. I talk to a lot of people at work and am obviously pregnant now. I don’t know most of the people I speak with, so they don’t know our story. […]
Surviving SIDS 