Leo, I was sitting in a quiet room with a womb-like feeling. It was dark but comfortable and you were asleep in my arms. I snuggled you into my chest and sighed the sigh of a happy mother in love with her newborn son. I smelled your head – that sweet baby smell, and tried […]
Leo, Yesterday a new friend joined you in Heaven. His family, friends, and community, including your dad and I, are mourning the loss of another vibrant soul taken from us too soon. We just can’t understand why you, Levi, and so many others go home before we do. But we know that particular understanding is […]
Leo, Today I shed a fresh blanket of tears for you. I felt washed over by sadness, hopelessness, and impatience. I couldn’t escape wondering how many New Years I’d have to ring in before we finally meet again. It didn’t take long before I realized that those feelings were just road blocks. God has amazing […]
Hi leo, I am sitting here with all three of your sisters napping. Amazing, right? I’m pretty impressed with my skills, if I do say so myself. Holidays are especially hard for us since you aren’t here to celebrate with us. I try to avoid any conversation or thought that involves imagining what you would […]
Hey dad, It was really awesome connecting (and subsequently disconnecting) with you last week. I feel much better and I’m happy to hear that you’ve come to mom in dreams. My shoulder pain is 80-90% healed since we agreed to cut our cord…amazing. I missed you this thanksgiving. You always looked forward to holidays with […]
Leo, I wanted to stop for a moment and say hi to you. Life has been so busy and even though I haven’t written to you in a month I think of you all the time. There are so many times that I’d like to stop and write, but the demands of having a baby […]
Leo, Zoe made it into day 26. Sadly, but blessedly, she is older than you. This morning as I was nursing her, I couldn’t help but relate the experience to you. Since the moment you died I longed to hug you, kiss you, nurse you, wake you from your sleep with a tickle. I didn’t […]
Leo, I’ve been wondering if 26 days would be a milestone for Zoe. 26 days marks your age on the day you passed away, but since you died of SIDS, and there are no symptoms, I originally thought that it wouldn’t be. Furthermore, since there is no real “safe” timeframe, what does 26 days really […]
Leo, You’re a big brother now! It both makes me happy and breaks my heart to say that to you. Baby Zoe was born 10 days ago and she looks just like you. Your dad, sisters, and I are over the moon. We absolutely love this baby girl and feel so blessed to have her […]
Leo, Where do I begin? I guess I’ll start by saying how discouraged I’m feeling. I’m filled with anxiety, pressure, and mistrust about you baby sister’s impending birth. I went to see the doctor today and at 38+4 weeks my cervix is closed. I know that could change in an instant, but my heart just […]
Surviving SIDS 