Leo, I was sitting in a quiet room with a womb-like feeling. It was dark but comfortable and you were asleep in my arms. I snuggled you into my chest and sighed the sigh of a happy mother in love with her newborn son. I smelled your head – that sweet baby smell, and tried […]

Leo, Where do I begin? I guess I’ll start by saying how discouraged I’m feeling. I’m filled with anxiety, pressure, and mistrust about you baby sister’s impending birth. I went to see the doctor today and at 38+4 weeks my cervix is closed. I know that could change in an instant, but my heart just […]

Leo, Good morning son. You probably knew this before I did, but your Grandma Lee has gone on to join you in heaven. I hope you guys are all together and are rejoicing in another one of Gods promises fulfilled. I’ll be honest when I say that I’m always a bit envious when someone dies […]

Leo, I’m coming to notice that birthdays are really hard for me. Today is your big sister Lily’s birthday. She had such a wonderful day. But each time I feel grateful that she is still here with us, I am reminded that you’re not. I remember watching and hearing you exhale your last breath. The […]

Friday was my brother’s birthday. All day long I felt a little bit down. I love my brother so much. He has a wonderful heart, is a good person, and always tries his best to be there for you. Knowing all of this, and the relationship I have had with him my whole life, I […]

Leo, 4/19/2013, the day we laid your little body to rest, the last time we ever saw you, the last time we ever held you, the day I had to accept that I would never ever see your sweet face again. I remember saying “goodnight” to you one last time because I wouldn’t accept “goodbye”…I […]

A hug, An embrace, A most sincere look upon your face. All this pain, All that I feel, Is it real? I look around, I see so many faces. I’m surrounded by people, But not the one I want to see. I look around, I see a friendly face, They approach me and offer a […]

Leo, Happy birthday my sweet sweet angel. You were born right at the moment I wrote this, one year ago, at 11:26pm. It’s been difficult today without you, knowing what today would have been like if you were alive. But I hang onto the memory of how awesome you were and how much you changed […]

The pain of losing my son is so hard to describe.  The best way I can describe it is “tangible”.  I know it doesn’t make sense, because a memory is intangible, but the loss of Leo, the night he died, and the days following his death are all things that I can actually feel.  If […]