Friday was my brother’s birthday. All day long I felt a little bit down. I love my brother so much. He has a wonderful heart, is a good person, and always tries his best to be there for you. Knowing all of this, and the relationship I have had with him my whole life, I […]
Leo, 4/19/2013, the day we laid your little body to rest, the last time we ever saw you, the last time we ever held you, the day I had to accept that I would never ever see your sweet face again. I remember saying “goodnight” to you one last time because I wouldn’t accept “goodbye”…I […]
Leo, Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of your death. Leading up to that day, I found myself confused and filled with fear. Fear that I would feel the pain of this loss afresh; fear that I would re-live that night with a renewed sense of memory and detail. I’m so relieved to say that […]
Leo, A year ago today I was the happiest mom of three beautiful and healthy children. I felt that I had everything, that I knew where life was headed, and that it was all your dad’s and my doing. We were on top of the world. When I kissed you goodnight, I had no idea […]
Leo, As I inch closer to the anniversary of the day you left this world, I find myself filled with fear, confusion, and somewhere deep inside; hope. Friday seems so far away and yet I’m thankful for every single day between now and then. Each day that I have to “wait” to get past the […]
A hug, An embrace, A most sincere look upon your face. All this pain, All that I feel, Is it real? I look around, I see so many faces. I’m surrounded by people, But not the one I want to see. I look around, I see a friendly face, They approach me and offer a […]
Leo, Right now is the time of year when you were alive and what we perceived to be well. I struggle with these alternate realities that play through my mind and heart. There’s the memory of last year; of holding and kissing you, and welcoming the final piece of our family puzzle into our lives. […]
Leo, Happy birthday my sweet sweet angel. You were born right at the moment I wrote this, one year ago, at 11:26pm. It’s been difficult today without you, knowing what today would have been like if you were alive. But I hang onto the memory of how awesome you were and how much you changed […]
Leo, I know I promised to write you on 2/18/14, but I just couldn’t. I haven’t been able to sit down and write to you since then. Not for lack of want or words, but out of fear. My beautiful boy, my eternal 26 day old son, not a moment goes by that I don’t […]
Leo, My sweet sweet boy, it’s been a while since i’ve written you! I have to say that it wasn’t unintentional, I have been in a period of transition and felt it would be best if I lay quietly for now. So much of the pain and despair that I was feeling on a daily […]
Surviving SIDS 