Hi Leo, Today is a really hard day for me and I’m not so sure why. I could not sleep last night despite my best efforts. I am overwhelmed by sadness and stress. The sadness, I get. The stress, though…? I have put my trust in God and I know that he has a plan […]

May 14, 2013 6:50pm Hi Leo, I’m here at La Vista sitting next to your grave. I miss you so much. Last night, Alyssa told me that she didn’t remember what you looked like. So I decided to show her and Lily some videos of you. God, that was so hard to do. I miss […]

Leo, Today was my first day back to work since my maternity leave began in February. Driving in, I posted on Facebook and prayed for god to give me strength and grace today. Driving into the parking lot, I almost had a panic attack. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I was […]

May 11, 2013 4:40 pm My Leo, I’m feeling so sad right now. It’s Mother’s Day weekend and you’re not here with me. This sucks. I should not be at this wedding today. I should have you with me right now. I should be worried about how to handle this situation that Zach and I […]

Leo, Tonight I found myself sobbing again. That’s three times this week that I found myself absolutely inconsolable. I love you so much. You were supposed to be here with me. I’m supposed to watch you grow old. I’m so glad that you’re in heaven and aren’t in any pain, but that doesn’t take my […]

Leo, I miss you so very much. My heart actually hurts right now. I didn’t realize that a broken heart could cause such physical pain. I am feeling angry right now. I am overwhelmed by the sadness of accepting that you’re not here with me. You should be here right now. We should be playing […]

May 6, 2013 1:55pm Hi Leo, You’ve officially been gone for as long as you were here. That is such a chilling thought and I still can’t believe you are gone. I can’t get over how much I miss and love you. Your dad and I still come to the cemetery daily, although we will […]

Leo, Your dad and I went to disneyland without your sisters yesterday. We wanted to have a moment to connect with each other and make sure we are both grieving separately and together. The last thing we want is for your sudden and unexpected passing allow us to drift apart. After a fun day at […]

May 2,2013 12:25 pm Leo, I’ve finally got a therapy appointment today. I hope she can help me understand what grief is, on a general level. Im having a hard time discerning if I’m getting depressed or if I’m grieving in a healthy way. What I do know is that I miss you so much. […]

May 1, 2013 3:51 pm Hey baby boy, I have not stopped thinking about you and the adorable faces you used to make. I miss you so much that it actually hurts. I feel like I’m walking a fine line between grief and this bottomless pit of depression. It’s like I can see the pit […]